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Anxiety and Dating

Do you get anxious about being around new people? Are you nervous when faced with having to carry on conversation? If you answered “yes” to one or both of these questions, chances are that you have probably suffered from dating anxiety at some point in your life. It is not unusual to get nervous from going out on a first or even a second date. Luckily, there are techniques that you can use to prevent these nerves from becoming a problem while on your date.

Here are the four P’s to handling dating anxiety :


Focus on today and this one date. There is no pressure here – it’s not your wedding day! It might seem natural to think ahead to the future and wonder if this date will lead to another one or perhaps a long-term relationship. Put that out of your mind and save those thoughts for a later, more appropriate, time.


Try to come up with some topics of conversation before your date. Watch the news or read some magazines so you can make some notes about current events. If you have something in common with the other person such as place of employment, involvement in a sport, or any other type of activity, use this to your advantage. Make a list of questions to ask your date about the topic so you are better prepared to make small talk.


Once you have prepared some conversation topics, practice them with your friends or family members. They may even provide suggestions for continuing the conversation. In addition, practice making small talk with your mail carrier or the person that serves you at the coffee house in the morning. The more you prepare, the more you will be ready for that date.

Plan of Action

Be ready for your date by planning in advance for what you will wear, what time you should start getting ready – anything that is a factor in being prepared for the date. If necessary, try on several outfits a day or two beforehand so you know what looks best. This will also help to curtail your nervousness since you will not be rushed to make last minute decisions.

When going out on a first date, look at it as an opportunity to get to know someone better. Treat your date as your would your friends and just be yourself. If you start to feel anxious, take a deep breath remind yourself that there is no reason to be nervous. Relax and enjoy your time with another single person!