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Dating and Texting from a Male's Perspective

Just about everyone is using text messaging these days as a means to communicate, especially when dating. And people who are textually active are not alone. A government report issued in December of 2009 said that the number of text messages more than doubled from December of 2007 to December of 2008 - from 48.1 billion messages to 110.4 billion. And that number will probably increase significantly when the study is released for the following year.1

Are there certain “rules” to follow when texting? According to the single guys I spoke with about it, the answer was an overwhelming “Yes”. With the popularity of text messaging on the rise, there are some guidelines that are a good idea to follow when communicating with someone you are dating, particularly when it is early in the relationship. One of my single friends, Rob, uses text messaging quite frequently. He offers this advice when it comes to dating someone new :

“A guy should let the female have control of the situation at the beginning. Let her offer her phone number, email address, and other contact information, and let her tell you how she prefers to be contacted. Even if you have access to her personal information, that doesn't mean that it's cool to abuse it. Be cautious and let her take the lead.”

My male friends all recommend online dating services as a good way to meet other singles. Rob suggests not viewing online dating as a place to just “hook up”, but rather as a place to find the “right one”. He also adds that online dating sites and social media outlets are a “great place to meet people.” But he cautions that when you meet someone new to not repeatedly ask for photos of the other person. It may be tempting since you have met online and not yet in person, but it’s in poor taste to continually make the request. Instead, wait until she offers some photos of herself or until you meet in person.

Here are some additional quick tips that might be helpful to know when texting. Texting 1-2-3 :

  • Spell to tell : Typos are not a big deal when texting. Just make sure your point gets across and don’t worry so much about the grammar errors.
  • Small talk : Use shorter words so you can say as much as possible. Most services only allow 80-120 characters.
  • Put a cap on CAPS : A message that is in all caps will make it appear as if you are shouting and / or you are angry. Try to avoid this when texting if possible.

1 The Statistical Abstract of the United States 2010,