Dating: Resolving Arguments
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Open Mouth, Insert Foot: The "Dos" and "Don'ts" of Fighting Fair.
Unfortunately, there’s no time machine that lets us travel backward and unsay something we wish we hadn’t said. And harsh words can be especially painful in the context of a relationship when spoken by someone we count on for constant love and support.
But all couples argue. And well-handled conflict can actually be an asset in a relationship, since it lets you both express what you’re feeling and clear the air of harsh feelings that can come between you. So the key is to create in your relationship a “healthy conflict” in which you both do your best to avoid some common mistakes while adhering to a few basic principles.
The "Dos" of fighting fair. DO.... (click each to read more)
- talk about little problems before they turn into big ones. Stick to the subject.
- listen actively.
- use "I" statements.
- admit fault.
- celebrate your victories.
The "Don'ts" of fighting fair. DON'T.... (click each to read more)
- bring up past grievances.
- go for the jugular.
- tell your partner how they should think or feel.
- intimidate.
- over generalize.
- force the matter when you're tired.
Remember, you’re not going to be able to avoid conflict in your relationship. You are unique individuals with your own feelings, opinions, and desires. So the key is to manage that conflict in a way that actually brings you closer together and allows you to understand each other more deeply, rather than allowing it to tear you apart.
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