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After the First Date
You've survived that first date, so what's the next step?
Regardless of whether or not the date went well, call a close friend to discuss all the details of the evening. This is a great opportunity to laugh, cry, vent - whatever is necessary to “get it out of your system”. It’s important to have a confidante who you can trust with the all the fun (or not so fun) facts about what happened on your date.
What If the Date Was a Dud and You Are NOT Interested in Going Further?
As soon as possible, find a respectful way to tell your date, “thanks but no thanks”. One option is to send an email saying that you had a good time on the date, but you simply do not feel that the two of you are compatible. However you decide to contact your date, make sure that you are sensitive and thoughtful with your communication.
Whatever you do, do not lead the other person on if you know you are not interested. It might be a bit exciting to receive phone calls and email from someone who is interested, or it could seem like a far more painless solution than having to say “no”, but it is not fair to the other person if you are not planning to pursue the relationship. Put your ego aside and let the other person know that you do not wish to have another meeting.
What If the Date Was Great and You ARE Interested in the Next Step?
Call or email your date soon to set up another meeting. If you are really interested, the sooner you contact this person, the better. Forget the “rules” about waiting. Be honest and show that you would to pursue more than a first date. A big benefit to this is that it will give you a good idea of where you stand with the other person. For instance, if you request another date and the other person declines, then can move on to something different very quickly without wasting time on something that is not going anywhere.
Try not to over think the situation. If you have contacted your date and he or she has not responded, be patient and give it some time. After a few days, if you still have not heard from the other person, make contact again just so you can know where you stand. Let the other person know that you are interested in getting together for another date. If you do not get a positive response, then move on!
No matter if the dates stops at just one, or if you move on to a second meeting, pat yourself on the back for trying. It’s not easy to put yourself out there and take action. So tell yourself that you did a good job. You made the first step towards finding someone great!