Tired of being single? Check out PerfectMatch to learn how you can find your soul mate online.

Generalizations Won't Get You Far in an Argument

Don't resort to exaggerated or generalized language such as the following:

  • "You always act like this."
  • "You never do what I ask you to do."
  • "You just don't care anymore."
  • "It's always your fault."

Talking to your partner this way does not work toward solving the problem and usually causes even more conflict, requiring more healing in the relationship. When you make broad generalizations, you might feel satisfied because you are including everything that has you upset. But this type of venting and not sticking to the issue at hand only serves to make it more difficult for your partner to hear and understand you.

Be careful not to use words like “always” and “never.” Instead of “You’re never on time,” try to say, “That’s the third time this week I’ve had to wait for you.” By being more specific with the details of why you are upset, there will be a much better chance of addressing the current issue and remaining on topic. Be specific and try to give examples to help your partner to better understand your point of view.

It is normal for couples to have conflict. But it is important to understand that when issues are handled poorly, your relationship can be damaged significantly. On the flip side, however, when discussions are handled in a more respectful and positive manner, greater intimacy can be achieved.