Never Use Intimidation or Threats

It's very unhealthy to attempt to win an argument by threatening your partner, whether it be physical or emotional harm; that is never an appropriate solution. Relationships thrive on respecting each other as individuals and calmly working through your problems.

If you try and make threatening gestures or intimidate your partner with your anger, the result can mean catastrophe for your relationship. Honest and positive communication requires a feeling of safety from attacks for each partner. If one person is afraid the other will make fun of his or her ideas or feelings at any time during the discussion, that person is probably not going to share their thoughts or be honest with the other.

So how can you and your partner create a sense of safety and protection within your relationship? One where you both feel you can each express your true feelings and thoughts without regard for how they will be received? And how can you disagree in a healthy way that keeps the relationship intact?

The first step is to always show respect for each other, even if you are struggling to understand your partner's point of view. A good second step is to make a list of rules for arguing. This will help to ensure that neither of you steps over a line when having difficult discussions in the future. Expectations will then be well understood.

Above all, when you are in the heat of anger, always keep in mind the potential damage that you could do if you show your anger through intimidation of your partner.