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Don't Go After Weaknesses
This is a basic tip when it comes to fighting fair. Everyone has their weak moments, but out of respect for your partner, it's best to address the issue at hand and not attack their weak points. Anger brings out the worst in some people, but self control is necessary when dealing with the person you care deeply about. Discuss the facts and make your points clear.
Typically we attack our partner because we are trying to get our own way. In most cases the problem is not the focus of the attack, nor is the inappropriate behavior, but rather the individual or some personal characteristic of the individual.
One of the most common ways of ridiculing is to accuse your partner of being childish. Another way is to laugh in a belittling manner in response to an opinion expressed by your partner. A condescending look can also be a negative way to react to something your partner says during an argument. These tactics can have devastating results. The relationship suffers, and subsequently each of you "loses," regardless of who “wins” the argument.
Here are some tips for when you are tempted to let the argument get ugly:
- Don't mock or make fun of your partner.
- Don't tease your partner if the goal is only to poke fun.
- Don't imitate the other person in a negative way.
- Don't talk behind his or her back to other people.
Go ahead and argue with your partner. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. But make every efffort possible to keep it clean and fair. Unfair fighting will most likely lead to nothing getting accomplished, and with both parties - and the relationship - losing in the end.