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What are the Steps to Help Mend a Relationship?

Whenever something happens in a relationship you have to mutually decide if it is worth saving. If two people are still committed to each other then there may be a way to mend it. Usually a relationship becomes broken because of a problem in trust. However, there can be many reasons.

Sometimes relationships just dwindle because the two people involved are not meant for each other. Other times it is a matter of the stress that comes with everyday living. Other relationships are just not worth saving and the couple walks away either as friends or as enemies.

Many relationships can be saved though if there is some love left and the two individuals are willing to give it another try. If you are at a place to give it another try, then here are some suggestions to help you mend your relationship:

  • Give Time Off
    Let each person have some time off from the relationship to reflect on what happened. This doesn't necessarily mean that someone has to move out if you are living together, but you should agree upon an amount of time that you can take to just reflect on what has happened. Both parties need to figure out what they did to bring you to this point and you need the time to get a hold on your real feelings. When something happens in the beginning of a relationship it may be different than when it happens in the middle or after a few years. You need the opportunity to examine where you are in the process of grieving the situation or whether you really want to stay with that person.
  • Recommit to the Process
    If you have decided you want to stay together then you need to recommit to the process for each of you. This means that you will need to understand how each other understands what happened and how to change things so this doesn't happen again. During this stage there can be many things said that are hurtful, but the point is to get to the bottom of it so you can start again.
  • Stop Blaming
    Most couples will blame each other as to the reason why something happened in the relationship, but this does not keep things moving forward. Instead, look at where you are now and how you can move forward. Blaming only makes things worse and it doesn't get to the bottom of the real problem.
  • Start the Communication
    Most relationships break because of a lack of communication. Both parties think that the other person should just know how they feel. Unless your partner told you they were psychic when you first got together, chances are they do not have this ability. Instead, you should talk things out. Even when it hurts, talking things out makes your relationship grow stronger.
  • Set Ground Rules
    As you are communicating you need to set rules that say you can't storm out no matter what. You have to sit and talk together or it doesn't work. Redefine what your relationship means to each of you. Talk about where your relationship is headed in the big picture. Re-examine the things that brought you together in the first place.
  • Examine the Closeness
    Have you lost the closeness in your relationship? If so, simple things might bring it back. Agree to do some activities together now (other than sex) that you used to do before the relationship went on the skids.

At the end, the couple must make a decision to recommit to the relationship in a big way. You will need to put the past in the past to try again. In trying again you need to also forgive each other.