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Getting Over a Breakup, Hopelessness to Happiness

Your relationship is over. No matter how long it lasted it is over now and you are devastated. You thought the relationship was going to be for the long haul and you found out that it wasn’t meant to be.

You have begun to pick yourself up to try and move forward, and to a point it has helped, but you spent so much of your time with this person, you don't know what to do next. The most difficult thing to do is to move forward and so you can find happiness in your life again.

When you first break up it may seem like you were at fault. If a man breaks up with a woman she often thinks that she wasn't good enough or that she did something wrong to make this happen. Usually the breakup may not have a specific reason for it happening, but it could be just that the two people need to stop seeing each other.

Things Not to Do During a Breakup

There are many things that people do to keep the relationship going that are counter productive. In order to move from hopelessness to happiness, do not do these things:

  • Try to Hang on to Your Ex
    No matter what, once it is over, it is over. Do not try to push your ex or try to get them back. Leave it alone. Do not send emails or love letters. All of these things will keep you moving in the wrong direction.
  • Turn to Drugs or Alcohol
    Let's face it. One person is not worth ruining your health for or sending you into addiction. Drugs and alcohol will not get rid of the pain, no matter how much you think it will. This will only create more problems in your life.
  • Act Out of Panic, Anxiety or Fear
    Instead of focusing on what has happened think about what you want. Any action out of these three emotions will create more problems for you. Instead, take a step back and figure out what you want to do next.

Things To Do After a Breakup

Although you may not be sure of what to do next, there are many things that will help. Here are some things that you can do to get your feet back on the ground:

  • Start Looking at Now
    Instead of going so far ahead and thinking of what might happen, think about what you want to happen now. Stay in the present as much as possible and decide how you want your life to look next.
  • Take Time to Sort Out Your Feelings
    Your feelings are going to run the gamut and it is difficult to imagine where you will land. The most important thing to do is to look at those feelings and get past them. You might need professional help to do this and if so, don't be afraid of it. Do what you need to do to get through these emotions in a positive way.
  • Create a Plan
    You now have the opportunity to create a plan for your life that can include many things. Get out a pad and paper and write down the things that you can do now to get over the breakup. Maybe it means you will take a college course or do something you haven't done before -- anything to move your life forward.
  • Most of All, Pamper Yourself
    Go to a spa and get pampered for the entire day. Get a manicure or pedicure, organize your life, or change the drapes in your home. Anything that will make you feel better. And most of all…keep moving forward to enable yourself to experience true happiness again.

After you have gotten through the break up process and put yourself back together, you can think about dating again. If you met through online dating, and you are over your previous relationship, you can start looking through online dating profiles again. You never know when you might find the right person. Or, if you met through friends, ask around if they know someone who might be good for you. Remember to move slowly as you start dating again.